Thanksgiving is so close and I am so excited to visit with family, eat food, and do absolutely nothing. However, during any holiday season you start to get sick of your family and you just want to go back to college to be alone. All of us have family members that piss us off or do things that irritate us, so I have compiled a list of things you should avoid during Thanksgiving, so you don’t become “That Guy”.
Don’t be that guy that brings up politics just to start a verbal onslaught between family members. Tensions are high after this election, so please, keep it in your pants.
Don’t be that guy that makes fun of your family members for voting for Donald Trump and call them racist and stupid because of it. Making fun of Trump is easy to do and you’re not impressing anyone with this form of comedy. Also, there is a chance that if you are this guy, or girl, you might have actually cried real tears after the outcome of this election. You are free game to get made fun of.
Don’t be that guy that brags about Trump’s victory to your liberal family members. Chances are they are very angry about this, and you’ll probably get boogers in your stuffing.
Don’t be that guy that judges someone because of the large amount of food they have on their plate. This is America’s greatest feasting holiday and everyone deserves to eat as much as they are physically able. Stuff your face, take some stool softeners and have one hell of a holiday.
Don’t be that guy that only gets one plate at Thanksgiving. You are probably a communist and shouldn’t be celebrating this holiday. Also, calories don’t count on Thanksgiving, so loosen your belt up, get two more plates, and get nasty.
Don’t be that guy that skips dessert. This ties into the last point, I do not care how full you are, you get up there and eat at least one dessert. Some might argue that dessert is better than the meal, so after dinner go #2, take a nap, and be prepared to eat some pie.
Don’t be that guy that complains that everyone is watching football. Listen buddy, I don’t know what it is about the NFL and Thanksgiving but it is written in the constitution so we have to watch it. If you do complain, I’ll probably just sit on you because I’ll be 20 pounds heavier and there isn’t enough room on grandma’s couch.
More serious….Don’t be that guy that leaves without saying goodbye to your family. Even if they annoy you, being with your family is the most important part of the holidays. So hug everyone, tell em you love em, and maybe slip one political jab at them on your way out. God Bless Thanksgiving and God Bless America.